Love in an Elevator

So, Denise, the heaviness you describe is very familiar to me, too. Let me see if I can take you away from that for just a little while.  I'm going to ask you to settle in somewhere very quiet, where you won’t be disturbed. When you are there, and feel you are ready, let me take you to another place.

You know the Livermore Valley, the warm California climate and the hills that roll between the ocean and the central valley. You saw Hummingbird Haven and watched gliders soar with your father when you were a little girl. Now pretend you’re there again now.  Look around at the field and feel the breeze.  Can you see me on the tarmack standing by a white and red airship, waving at you? It’s ok, you can walk over to me.  I’m about to take a flight, and I’m inviting you to join me.

Here’s a jacket. It’s  90 degrees on the ground, but it can get quite cool up there.

I'm going to do the preflight check, everything inside and out. Then I will get the glider towed down to the take off area. You’re going to wear a parachute, strictly FAA rules.

The only person I knew that jumped out of a glider was my Dad. During WWII he was designing and helping to build a transport glider for the Air Corp. It was towed behind a large plane, I think it was four engines, anyway the inexperienced pilot had many hours in power aircraft.  He was not qualified to fly this, but he was a high ranking officer and got what he wanted. And he wanted to fly a cargo glider. It could hold a jeep and guns and i don't know how many men it held, but on that day there were only a few who had worked on it. To make a long story short, he got into the prop wash and the glider broke up and everyone was killed except my Dad and one other guy whose name I have forgotten. They'd taken care to put chutes on. So the conclusion is, it’s alright you’re safe with me. I don't do crazy in the air, I do what I'm supposed to and that is that. I would like you to be as comfortable as you can be.

I see the tow plane is headed this way, so here's your chute.  Slip your arms through, that’s it, and grab those hanging and bring them up between your legs and clip them right here. OK now, let’s get you in and comfortable.

Ok Denise, step over and in and step right there, good now. Let me get the belts out of your way, there now you can sit. Don’t worry I would never do anything to harm you.

Let me show you how this is done. All these belts connect in this center piece, and if you want to release just push down on this.  Let’s pull your belts as tight as you can without feeling uncomfortable. I say this because we might get some high altitude and it’s a fun ride doing big loops and spiral dives. You’ll love it. Much better than amusement parks.  So how do you feel now?  Still a little nervous? That’s ok, you’ll be fine once we get airborne.  Ok I’m getting in, and you can try to feel the joy because I’m in heaven. Well, we are ready. The tow plane has taken up the slack and all I have to do is waggle the rudder and we're off. Are you ready?

I want you to place your feet on the rudder pedals and hold the stick and just follow through with me. OK here we go that’s just the wheels and we are aloft. You can see that the tow plane has yet to leave the runway. We are much lighter than he is, and have more lift so we have to keep just off the ground until he goes up, and there he goes, and now we climb up to 5,000 feet.

I know there’s a wave here and it will be beautiful!  Are you alright?  Well, try to relax. Nothing is going to happen to scare you.  This is real flying!  Denise, stay with me now.  This is important because I would like to see you enjoy this. Well, we are now climbing through 4,000 feet and soon to release.  Alright, follow through with me on the controls. It will help to get you into this because we are going to pull up a bit and then, here we go, a little nose down to give tow rope… some slack, release from the tow, and there we are. And is it quiet!  Just the wind noise, and look at the view!  I can see the whole valley, and look I was right, we’re now gaining 1,500 feet per minute. You can see it on the instrument panel, it’s called a variometer, it measures our up and down feet per minute.

 Sure is quiet. Is everything alright back there? You’re not saying much. And look, we are already at 9,000 feet and still going up… do you feel ok now?

Well, I'm sure glad that you're feeling more relaxed! This is amazing! It’s going up like an elevator and so smooth!  I just love it up here.  Look down at the surface. Here we are up here, free for a time, and no shit Denise look over to your right. Do you see them at 10,000 feet? They are small birds, I gotta get a closer look.  Feel the controls as we turn, gently I move the stick with a little rudder and pull back on the stick a little so the ship stays at the same attitude.  I want you to try later, but stay with me on the controls and you will start to get feel for how they work.  It's not complicated. Look Denise, I think those are sparrows, and they see us. Don't they seem intelligent? Well, maybe that's just me, I love to be up here with birds!

 If we get lucky, and I know we will, there are sometimes hawks and buzzards up to about 11,000 feet.  Look left, there they are!  They’re in the wave with us… now that is heartwarming.  We're still climbing and just passing 12,000 feet. This is perfect, you could not have picked a better time to experience this. It’s clear and now we can see the Bay Area, a little higher and we can see the ocean.  OK, Miss Denise, I want you to fly.  You have the controls, just listen to me as we go. Now, all control is done in small movements, listen to the ship it as has its own signature sound, listen to it. Right now you’re letting the nose down I can hear it.  Just ease back on the stick but keep it level, that’s it, now let’s try a wide turn to the left. First I’ll do it, and you follow through. Get the feel.  See how I ease back on the stick while I turn and just a little rudder at the same time, the nose is at the same attitude as when we were going straight, so you try and I'll be right with you.  Ok, you have it. That’s it, and you’re doing very good, back a little, this ship is easy to get going.

Alright, good job, now let’s go the other way.  Watch the way you feel with the ship. Try to connect to it like it’s an extension of your body.  Damn! We are at 18,000, and I think we should go down a couple of thousand feet.  We need to keep breathing, and the air gets pretty thin up this high. I feel that we are safe at 16,000 and not too long. Now, look at the view and the quiet and how peaceful it is up here. So you feel like doing some more control work?  Good. I knew I liked you, but this really special. You’re the second woman to fly with me. That’s something of itself. Well,  I think we can say this is a great experience. What do think so far?

So here we are at 18,000 feet, and I'm now at 140 mph, and we are zero sink.  That means I have got to find the down side of this wave. I don't want alarm you, but let me explain what we're doing. It’s just like the waves in the ocean.  They rise up and then they come crashing down. Well, up here it’s on a different scale. We've been in the up side, now we have to go down. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable so I'm not going to just pull the dive brakes and put the nose toward the ground, although I have to tell ya it's fun doing just that. No worries Denise, I'll take good care of you. You’re going to feel a rumble when we get to the edge of the wave. I think I can best explain it by example.

You've seen water falls, I know. You know how when you’re on a river, there’s a sound you can hear when you’re near the waterfall. Then it’s over the falls you go. This is quite similar, when we get close to the edge you feel the ship start to get bumpy and it won't be long after that we will be going over the falls, so to speak. Oh shit, hold tight, it's going to be a little crazy! Yahooooo !  2,000 feet per minute down! Oops. Sorry about that!  Everything is ok, the ship is very strong, and I told you I would never harm you, and that's fact. See, it really isn't that bad is it? Now stay with me on the controls. This is critical if you want to fly. You have to stay with this no it  matter what the weather is throwing at you.  We'll get down a ways and then guess what? That’s right, we are going back up. So breathe while there's plenty of oxygen cause we are going back up, and then we're going to fly out toward the ocean.  I just love this, Denise, I'm so happy that you’re with me!  This is such a treat for me.  I just love sharing this with you. OK, here we are back in it and check this out. We're in a stronger part of the wave.  Who said it couldn't get any better?

This is amazing. We are climbing at 120 mph and gaining 2,300 feet per minute. This is gold, baby, pure gold!  Son of a bitch, look at the altimeter! We are just about to hit 20,000 and that’s it for Papa, I'm going outta here like a screaming banshee!  This ship has a placard of 170 mph and I think we, that's you and me, I just think we should see just where that is. Don't feel like that… these ships are capable of much higher speeds than this. I'm not going to push the limit, just see where it is. Just stay with me on the controls; I just love to go fast in these high performance sailplanes. Nose down and let’s haul some major ass here. Listen to the wind it's talking to us, I can hear it saying fly on fly on, don’t stop, just keep going.

 It's a wonderful thought isn't Denise?  I tried to tell you I'm a little weird didn't I? Well, just stay with it. Listen to this thing! It’s loving this, it was made to do this, and we are doing it to it.

On a spectacular day with you, this is true bliss and we're dressed!  Just kidding. Look we are now at top recommended speed and the ship is singing to us, and what a symphony of sound.  Now say something so I know you’re alright, Denise? Hey Lady in the rear seat, I mean you.  That's ok, I keep forgetting that this is your first time in a glider.  Well, how do you like it so far, Denise?  Say anything!  Well, you had me there for a moment, you’re enjoying this on the whole though right? Good, glad to hear that and I do apologize for not being more thoughtful.

I never said I was perfect. Shut the hell up Larry, you talk too much. Now we have lost a lot of altitude, we’re still at 15,000 feet  and we are alright at this point for a while. Anyway, the ship is always headed for the barn.  Mother Earth us calls back, and when she does we hafta go.  So, in the meantime let’s have some fun that doesn't make you fearful. There's nothin ta be worried about, this is one of the safest places there is. Think about it Denise, what can harm you up here?  Oh, I know, an airliner could come crashing into us, or a lightning bolt could come out of nowhere or, or… that's really chickenshit of me.  Damn, I just don't know what gets into me sometimes.

How about sweeping turns just like we are birds gliding over the Earth looking at anything we want, and free as birds so to speak. You’re going to fly this ship, take a deep breath and let everything go. Your life depends on you learning how to control this glider, cause I'm jumping out. Now that would be real chickenshit. So ya ready ta go back there?  Good then follow through with me, it's not difficult. I move the stick a little to the left, and at the same time I'm giving a little left rudder pedal.  As I have said, the tendency of the ship is to speed up when you turn, so ease back on the stick, see how little effort you actually use. It’s  a very smooth type of thing. Learn to feel the ship and rely not so much on the instruments. They have their purpose, but feel is how you really fly, and the ship becomes an extension of you. Wow, Perl, you can wax philosophical. I just threw that in there. I have no idea why, I actually thought you would know. Well, back to the ship. Shit, I'm real sorry I messed up like that.

How do you feel Denise?  You feel good with that, I’m so glad you wanna do it again. Alright let's go, and this time I'll be following through on you. Just so you understand, I like me so I'm just gonna kind of be right on top of you, I really don't think you'll need any assistance, so you’ve got it Gal, let it happen, that's it. That's it… ok… ok… a little… Oh, never mind you got it, good job Denise, I'm so fuckin happy I can't even say it.  I might be able ta drum it though, ya just never know.

OK woman, now show me your stuff and turn right without any help from me, you got it… oh shit, you’re trying scare me, I know you are!  Stop it please!  Well, give it awhile.  I like scared sometimes…  ya know it is a little adrenalin rush, wouldn't you say so Miss- I'm- Flying- the-Friggin-Glider.  What's next?  Y'all will want to vote an everything.  The world… forget the world… we are on top of it and it feels good to me, how about you, Miss Denise? I love that for some damn reason, there's another one you'll probably have the answer to.

 So what do you think we should do next? I’m telling you a loop is not scary, it’s a beautiful thing of grace and harmony and you get to be the witness to it's magic, so what do you say, are ya with me here? I like the sound of yes. Let’s go through it together. Nose down get some speed and can you dig the sounds of whatever it is that makes all this happen?  So relax and go with this. Trust me.  There's 120 mph, that should be plenty, although I have never done this in such a high performance ship. Yeah, I am laughing. You’re going and you know it, cause I just power tripped you, and into a loop no less, and just when you thought you can trust this asshole he pulls this crap on ya!  Oh, over hills and through the woods, yea mama we going now! Oh yea, upside down, now you can tell your friends Perl showed you a new position! You're upside down... Oh here we are coming out and we're picking up a lot of speed!  Ah, dontcha just love it though, tell me what was that to you?

Wow stop! We're too high!  I might jump, I knew you would do that. You're a hard card ta play sometimes. Wanna try a roll? No, hmmmm....?  Well, ok let’s do more sweeping turns and get a little more angle of attack.  The speed will increase some and most noticeable will be the G forces, which I'm sure you’re well aware of what those are.  Ready?  No?

Ok.  Well, let’s leave us up in the air above Mount Diablo for awhile.  I’m glad to hear from you that your heaviness has lifted a bit and you think you can sleep. That’s all I wanted to do for you.

I loved the flight at least as much as you did and we can come back to it anytime you want.

Sweet dreams.

Blues is News

John Mayall at 75years of age!

Last Monday night, I went with a friend to Jazz Alley to see a blues artist named John Mayall. I know just about nothing about blues. It's not my favorite style because so much of it is progressive and "jamming." It plods, to my ear, although the repetitions with slight variations are what the blues fan grooves on. I like a well-defined melody, and that may be because I'm not a musician and can't appreciate the craft beyond the basics.

I will say I like quite a bit of a jazz sampling, because I find those progressions relaxing. Can't explain it past that, but if I'm spun up over a personal situation, Pat Metheny or Lee Ritenour can smooth me right out.

The best way to appreciate blues is to have it served up in the company of a blues musician.  I could see my friend nodding and smiling as John Mayall took to the stage with his younger band members. He informed me that Mayall mentored an infinite number of blues players, including Eric Clapton, Peter Green, and the founders of Fleetwood Mac.

This album includes John Almond, John McVie of Fleetwood Mac, Alan Skidmore, and Dennis Healey

"Fleetwood Mac was a blues band?" I asked my companion.  Indeed they were until some personnel changes brought the new direction which was the way to making better money. There's way more bucks in pop than in blues. Dumb it down for the masses, but these were great bluesmen.

This evening he had unknowns accompanying him on electric bass, guitar, and drums. Mayall himself was playing a Roland keyboard and harmonica.

John Mayall, as you may know, is an old-timer. He's seventy-five years old. He's been performing and influencing blues composition for over fifty years. Wouldn't you be curious to see how he's holding up? I was, and even though I didn't know much about him, I thought here's a chance to see a real legend perform, no matter what his genre.

Mayall opened with a solo compostion. He played a chromatic harmonica with one hand and hit the keyboard with his other hand. Now, even if you're not wild about the sound of the hard blues selection, you gotta be impressed by that kind of coordination. When he blows harmonica, it comes from very deep within, and so it's not the screechy sound you hear from Bob Dylan or Neil Young. It's full and round.

He has an interesting touch on the keyboard. His fingers look light and easy. That's complicated stuff he's playing, I know that. But he smiles to himself as he hears the notes, and he glances over sideways to his band members as if to say, "It's like this." The side players beam with joy. You can tell everyone is in a zone full of love and excitement. Real comradarie at the top of the game.

Small club, Dimitriou's Jazz Alley. I don't think there is bad seat in the house. There are terraced floors, including an upstairs, and the room is accoustically designed so that big PA equipment is not necessary. Sound is clean. We sat at a high cafe table just inside the bar area. Great view, I thought. And for $28 admission I thought we were getting excellent value.

You can get dinner if you want, before the show. Non-diners can arrive later than diners, but I suggest you get there early, anyway. Some seats are better than others in the cocktail-only sections and most people do arrive early who want those better seats.

Jazz Alley is very well-staffed. You feel welcome and important as soon as you step inside the club. You aren't just seated, but choices are carefully shown to you with the expectation that you'll fully enjoy the show.

I wish I could adequately describe the show we saw. Those young musicians were very hot. You coulds see these are future stars, and hanging out with John Mayall is historically proven to be the road to the top. He most definitely showcases each one throughout the night, showing paternal pride in his protoges.

Mayall with the young muscians who appeared with him. I do not have their names.

I found myself actually liking the music. I wondered as I listened if enjoying is a learning process. As you discover the why and how of a thing, it makes it's place in your life.

"Just listen to the groove," said my friend, "The groove will getcha."

Discographies are easy to find on the internet, as are video clips of John Mayall's various incarnations with side players he's brought up. I especially enjoyed "Congo Square" and "Room to Move," and "It's Too Early in the Morning." But the songs were all immensely enjoyable.

If you get a chance to see John Mayall perform, it's something you won't forget. Blues fan or not.

The Moody Blues - Watching and Waiting

VIP

My brother, Steve, called me last Thursday and said something really great might be coming up for me, but he had to know what I was doing on Saturday. Not much, I said. The weekend looks pretty quiet.

"I have VIP tickets for the Moody Blues Saturday night at Chateau Sainte Michelle Winery. It looks like my client's husband can't make it, so I asked Rose if she'd like to have my sister sit next to her. Rose is a very outgoing person, so she said sure right away, but she has let me know if she can get the night off."

Steve works for Youngs Columbia, a major beer and wine distributor. Rose owns a bistro in Mukilteo. It isn't easy for her to get a Saturday night off. Steve called on Friday and said everything is a go, could I meet them at his house at 3:30 for bubbles and appetizers. We should be at the winery by 5:00 for schmoozing, and the concert starts at 7:00. Oh, you bet I could!

Steve and his wife, Ginny, Rose and I met up at the rally point.

The VIP seats are for people in trades like restaurant owners, sales reps, and people the winery wants to reward. I couldn't have bought the ticket for myself. I'd never had this experience and I was very excited as we entered the property. "We'll go to VIP parking," said Steve, faking a yawn.

That was easy. "Look at all the people lined up for general admission," said Steve. Some of them feel they have to get here at 11:00 a.m. and wait hours to get in. They all want that just right spot on the lawn. Seating is open, it's all lawn, and people bring blankets and low chairs to sit on. Some make quite a big deal out of low tables with linens and complete picnic.

We side stepped these unfortunate line people and took an inside sidewalk to the Chateau. As we glided by one of them said, "HEY. The back of the line is over there!" Rose stopped to explain that we were where we were supposed to be, and I said, "Give em the finger, Rose." But she didn't.

We were checked in and hand stamped, wrist banded and name tagged. Then graciously welcomed into the Chateau.

We get a special crystal wine glass and it is refillable, no charge. There is a table full of really elegant canapes; crab cakes, asparagus in phyllo, curry chicken skewers, antipasto... I can't remember all of the things. No charge, of course. We sat on the VIP patio and enjoyed the beautiful weather, and in the distance we could see the line people making very slow progress.

"It is kind of our hosts to situate the line people a fair distance from us. They look sweaty," I remarked to my brother.

Fifteen minutes before concert start, we thought we'd go look for our seats. We noticed that our section of porta potties sat discretely behind the VIP tent. They were a little bigger than the potties provided for the line people and they said VIP on them, too.

I took off my sandals for that Summer of Love barefoot look. Ste. Michelle has lush lawns and they feel so nice. We found our seats, opened a bottle of chardonnay, and looked around. Perhaps we should see what kind of dessert is offered in the VIP tent this evening. There were so many goodies and cheeses you could not fit them on the dainty little plate. I chose three tiny goodies; one lemon, one chocolate and one cheese.

The Moody Blues started promptly at 7:00 and gave a good performance. There are three orignal members, the all-important rich vocals are very much there. The weather was absolutely perfect. People were naturally relaxed due to these conditions and were smiling at each other. We settled into our chairs while the line people got comfortable in their earthy territories.

It was one of those rare nights in the Northwest when you remember that this area can be quite like heaven on earth and people can be nice to be around.

Fantastic!

Hummingbird Haven

One June afternoon in 1962 my father took me to watch the gliders at Hummingbird Haven. It was an airstrip for glider craft just East of Livermore, California, where we lived. The valley rolls toward grassy hills just before Altamont Pass, and the airfield lay in a perfect flat acreage.  As we found a place to park, where we could sit on the hood of the car and watch the flights, Dad told me a little bit about the history of this place.

As he spoke, I discovered that my father came out here often, and knew some of the pilots. Although he'd never been up in a glider he knew quite a lot about them. He said the Northern California Soaring Association had been at this site since the mid-50s and was founded by two men who designed glider aircraft. That's one right there, he told me. It's called a Nelson Hummingbird. It's actually got a small engine that assists it into flight and back to the ground. He'd seen it take off and land on another day, it amazed him that after gaining loft the engine and propeller would retract into the fuselage, optimating the lift to drag ratio.

Nelson Hummingbird developed around 1959

This picture shows the engine out of the fuselage for landing assistance

The thrill, of course, is to fly without an engine. The pilot soars along currents of air, seeking "thermals," or hot currents of air, that naturally rise and take the aircraft up with them. Dad told me about how a thermal is like a column, it kinda rises from the ground to the clouds in the shape of an invisible mushroom. The airship enters the column and glides around and around, up and up. As he reaches the top of the thermal-mushroom, the air begins to cool quickly and grow turbulent. That's his signal to shoot out of the thermal and soundlessly glide as far as the loft will take him. The loft can reach 20,000 feet and last for hundreds of miles, although this is unusual. A glider can travel from thermal lift to thermal lift and stay up quite a long time.

This day, Dad and I watched an auto tow. It may have been a soaring lesson or just some guys goofing around. We saw a kid, no more than twelve years old I'd guess, open the driver's side of a 1948 2-door Ford convertible and climb over some cushions (so he could see over the dashboard). He expertly started it up and drove it about 1000' feet from a TG-3 Redwing glider, pointing the back end toward the airship. He located a cable on the ground leading from the TG-3 and attached it to the car's hitch. He ran back to the car, over the cushions again, and looked toward the glider with excited anticipation. We could see some motioning from inside the glass cockpit and the kid eased the car forward to tighten the slack cable, watching over his shoulder for the wag of the rudder, and then he nailed the accelerator! Blast off!

"That's a Cadillac engine. Hopped up," said Dad, "I've heard about this."

The glider climbed fast, at about a 45 degree angle. It got to a little over 600 feet, maybe, then jerked a bit as it released the cable. Not real high, but enough to get into a pattern that made a big circle and approach to land back where it started. That kid stayed on the gas and made a big fishtail at the end of the runway, his plaid shirt flapping in the wind in synch with the windsocks along the runway, blowing his hair all around his head. From my seat I could feel the absolute joy of it.

Auto tow just before release. You can barely see the cable.

He slowed down to travel the runway back to the starting point, and waited for the glider to return, standing on the cushions and stretching as high as he could toward the blue skies. His right hand shaded his eyes, and when he saw the glider approach the runway and pass overhead with a "swoosh" sound, he raised both arms in the air, waving and whooping.

After landing, the boy towed the Redwing back to the launch point and reattached the cable.

My dad and I watched three of these flights before it was time to go home. He said to me as we buckled up, "That boy really loves the aircraft. I wonder how many times he tows before he gets to go up himself?"

As we left the airfield, I saw the boy at the pop machine, wiping his hands on his pants before he shoved the bottle top into the opener.

"It would be fun to see the boy fly his first solo, when that day comes. And I'm sure it will."

Pink Floyd - Learning to Fly

Look Before You Sit Down in Paia

The condo we stay in is in Maalaea village. It's in between the ocean front and sugar cane fields. I love the semi-rural, semi-neighborhood here. Population is small and people mind their own business. You can sit in your jammies on the lanai with morning coffee and nobody cares.

You can spend an entire day on the lanai, watching the harbor, observing wildlife... doing nothing. There's a monk seal, a couple of eagle rays, a heron, jumping fish, mongoose slipping through the landscaping, geckos chirping, and brightly colored cardinals contrasting the green grass.

Everyone who visits my condo asks about sugar cane spiders, since the field is so close. I've never seen one, I tell them, but I understand they are very big and run fast. They must like staying out there in the cane, and that's fine with me.

One afternoon, Fran suggested we drive up to Paia, on the Northshore, and do some shopping. Maybe find lunch. We might as well bust a move, we've been sitting so much. So Fran and Judy and I drove 18 miles to the former plantation town, now tourist attraction. There used to be a big sugar mill here, built in the 1880s, and the population was once over 10,000 people.



Sugarcane and Red Dirt

 Most of those people, immigrants from China, Portugal, Japan, Philipines (in that approximate order) lived in camp-like housing. Eventually, as they prospered, they moved into tract houses in Kahului. The camps disappeared and the sites plowed into more sugar cane plantings. The storefronts remain, and are occupied now by boutiques, galleries, and cafes. It's very quaint, no ABC Stores here, like you see in most Hawaiian tourist centers.

Paia is a bedroom community nowadays. Commerce is centered in Kahului, but Paia is a nice place to live. Sugar cane fields border on the mauka (inland) side, and some of the best windsurfing beaches on the makai (ocean) side. People who live here know each other, and are very friendly toward visitors.

The three of us covered ground with enthusiasm once we claimed the elusive parking space. It's nice ducking into an air-conditioned shop in the 86 degree weather. Store keepers are good greeters, asking where we are from, and telling stories about how they came to Paia to stay. It's a hard place to leave, apparently. Some residents hold three jobs to get by rather than return to the mainland.

"Oh, look! Crepes!" I exclaimed. I love crepes. I could smell them baking on grills.
"And French wine, too. This is it!" My friends weren't sure at first. Most of Paia looks shabby and dusty because of the tradewinds. They come from the Northwest, remember, and the beach is just North of the main street. All around are those cane fields and that iron oxide dirt. You can sweep it away, you can rinse it away, but you cannot remove the rusty stains it leaves everywhere. Paia is authentically weathered. Old woodframe buildings have survived over a hundred years of tropical storms, termites, and sometimes neglect.

Storefronts in Paia, Cafe des Amis nearest

We sat at one of the shabby chic tables, and the server brought us a bottle of filtered water and three rustic glasses. Oh, that tastes good! Besides crepes, there are curries and sandwiches, but I'm focused. We will have a bottle of that Cote du Rhone and I'll have that mozzarella tomato basil crepe.

You know the food is good when it's on the table and everybody stops talking.

We paid the bill and left the cafe. Judy decided she needed to go back and use the washroom, so Fran and I waited outside.

Judy ran up to us a few minutes later shaking like a leaf. It's pretty unusual to see her rattled about anything, so it must be a big deal.

"The paper towel roll was empty, so I reached up to get a new one. This huge spider jumped out of it and ran down my arm! He's in the toilet bowl!"

Fran had to go look. "Yep. He's still there, and that's a big one."

Now I had to go look. Wow. He's as big across as a tuna can and not delicate. He was inside the bowl, partially under the rim. I walked to the kitchen and told a server about him, thinking he should be removed before the next customer went into the washroom. The girl shrugged and said that they don't bite.

The cane spider, or brown huntsman spider, does not spin a web. It hunts insects on foot, mostly at night. So the slumbering creature was probably as startled as Judy was. In it's sleepy state, it rested in the toilet where it landed, and unless aroused again, it would probably stay put until nightfall.

But I don't think that's likely.