We've always encouraged Ross and his friends to hang around our house. I keep lots of soda and snack food here, and there are six acres including a pond with an island to play on. There are pinball and shuffleboard in the game room and a big screen TV they can play video games on.
Even so, we've confronted drug and alcohol use, scholastic negligence and all the other evils of a permissive society. There seem to be few consequences for aberrant behavior. Maybe because there is so much bad behavior there's not enough consequence to go around. Certainly that's the case with the so-called War Against Drugs. It would be better named The Occassional Skirmishes With Particularly Stupid and Obvious Users/Dealers.
Ross smoked marijuana for the first time with members of a Christian youth group in junior high school.
What's a parent to do? The boys know they are welcome here but that anyone smelling of intoxicants will be asked to leave. There are about eight boys who respect that rule and are "regulars" around here. I was a little surprised who toes the line. One boy's mother allows parties in her house while she is home and even parties with them. But he respects my rules.
The contrast between the smoky house where nobody does anything and the non-smoky house where there is lots of activity could make a guy think, I hope.
A couple of weekends ago, we took four teenaged boys on a car trip to Portland from our home north of Seattle. This had been in the planning since about February, when I told a group of doubters we could could make the trip when school was out.
Really? You'll take us all to Portland?
Sure, I'll borrow you all from your parents. Ross will have instant brothers to travel with.
The destination was Daddies Boardshop. The be-all and end-all of the skateboard and longboard retail experience. Daddies signature t-shirt says "Giving Portland Police Something to Do Since 1994." Our particular group of boys are longboarders. They will proudly inform you that longboarding is about distance and speed while skateboarding is about tricks and stunts in a park setting.
Portland is one of the most liberal cities on the Left Coast. Somebody convinced the city council that a longboard is a means of transportation just like a bicycle or a car, and so boarders should have the same right to travel. But police don't like it when longboarder casually scoots through 25 mile per hour posted areas at 35 mph plus.
The stuff fantasies are built on in teenaged minds.
The best way I know to find out what's going on with teenagers is to take them on a long car trip. They kinda forget you're there after awhile and talk freely. It's very entertaining, the stream of consciousness style of conversation. It goes something like this:
"Cody, I told you not to wear that Got Purple? t-shirt. Mom doesn't like it."
"Sorry, dude. It's the only clean one I had. Is there a washing machine at the hotel?"
"Dunno. You can wear one of mine till we get to Daddies and then you can buy one."
"I think I'll buy
one from a brewpub. That way I can give it to my stepdad. I owe him money anyway.""Did you see that movie, Brewfest? That was funny! Willie Nelson tells this joke at the end: "A dad walks into his son's room and says, 'Son, if you keep masturbating you'll go blind.' The son says, 'I'm over here, Dad.'"
"My mom says eating carrots makes you see better."
"So, Tyler, I suppose you eat carrots when you masturbate."
John and I try not to laugh too loud, so they don't remember that we can hear them.
We stopped at South Center Mall for lunch because there's a food frolic there with something for everyone at cheap prices. They wisely chose Johnny Rockets for burger combos for the good quantity at the $7 limit imposed on them.
Back in the car for the three hours remaining on the road to Portland.
The boys were happy to see that the hotel was in a developing area with lots of vacant lots and clean asphalt. The longboards came out of the Tahoe's boot and away they went to explore while John and I navigated the on-ramps and off-ramps to the Jantzen Beach Safeway for provisions.
We did not see a beach at Jantzen Beach. But the Marriott Residence Inn there is a great place to bring a bunch of kids. Two bedrooms, two baths with three TVs and a kitchen. When the boys got back from the exploration, they were kept busy with a pool, spa, and work-out room. Good thing, because it was too late in the day to go to Daddies.
I think Daddies does three times as much mail order as walk-up business because they are so well-established and savvy with the kids. Some of the "kids" are in their thirties.
We got there the next morning a little early, so we left the boys milling around in front of the entrance while we visited the donut shop on the other side of the parking lot. The Asian owner picked up his phone and called Daddies, "Better open up, you've got customers." We are in a recession, after all.
Ross asked for Dan (Daddie himself) at the front counter. He briefed Dan on the expected purchases and negotiated a cash discount. That's my boy! It looked like things were under control, so John and I left them to go explore the Hollywood and Old Town neighborhoods of Portland.
On the way out the door I noticed a poster advertising the Rose City Rollers. There were a couple of championship bouts set for the next evening. I remembered roller derby from my childhood in the San Francisco Bay Area. The Bay City Rollers in Oakland were very popular in the 1960s. We'd watch the bouts on Sunday afternoon television, mostly because the cartoons were over. It was wild and intense. I thought the boys would like it.
From the Rose City Rollers MySpace page:
"Rose City Rollers (RCR) was founded by a small band of gritty, gutsy, nostalgic gals who decided to dust off their quad skates and hit the pavement in August of 2004. Since then, the league has expanded tremendously and now is home to 130+ skaters, four home teams, a junior derby team for high school girls, and a nationally-ranked all-star team."
We drove through the Hollywood neighborhood and across the Willamette River. A few blocks later we found a brewpub called Tug Boat Brewery. It's a small, darkish, definitely owner-run establishment. Looked like a good place to try a hand-crafted beer. Not much of a beer drinker myself, I encouraged John to ask the barkeep, a pretty young woman of about 26 what she recommended. She and I struck up a conversation about small business and economy. She said she was the owner of the brewery/restaurant and introduced me to a female friend while John chatted with a few male beer drinkers.
"What do you know about the Rose City Rollers?" I asked.
Big smiles.
"We're on the Heartless Heathers team!" said the barkeep, nodding toward her friend. I explained that we were thinking of treating four teenaged boys to the event.
"Barfly" (nickname) told us to be sure they got there early so they could see the drum corps and some other pre-game entertainment. There would be instruction on the history of the game and how it is scored. We were assured the boys would have a great time.
It's a colorful sport, alright. The players have nicknames like "Miss Behavior," "Vominatrix," "Apocalypstick," and "Tara Heartout." Costumes include ripped fishnet stockings, satin fabric, dayglow colored hair and tiaras.
I showed the poster to the boys when we met later. These are tough chicks, but some of them are good looking, I informed them. The kids were very willing to be dropped off at the arena while John and I went out to find a nice dinner.
The boys got back to the hotel before we did. Somewhat of a surprise. They told us the intensity does not stop on the roller rink, but goes all the way up the stands. The crowd is as passionate as the players, and although they cheered for the Heartless Heathers (of course), the fans of the other team, the Break Neck Betties, outshouted them and wore them to a frazzle. They were too pooped to stay for the second bout.
The next morning I asked if anyone wanted to see the Portland Zoo or any of the other attractions in Portland. No, they said, they wanted to go back to Daddies to try out the bungee contraption Dan showed them. Bungee? It's a braided cord about ten feet long with two handles on it. You stand on your skateboard and a couple of your friends arrange it like a slingshot on a light pole or street sign and pull you back. Then you turn loose of it and go from zero to 35 mph in an instant.
I was thinking about the short parking lot and the four lanes of traffic on Sandy Boulevard in front of Daddies Boardshop. I was assured that they'd meet at an elementary school playground so I gave consent. Well, ok, but I'm not gonna watch.
I knew they didn't have $225 remaining in their pockets to buy the damned thing, so I wasn't going to worry about it.
I quietly bought four Daddies logo t-shirts, away from John's sight. He'd think I was spoiling the boys.
After the bungee demonstration, we took them to Mt Tabor Park so they could try out their new boards. It's a really nice place with the walking and biking trail chained off so there are no cars. Good hills, curves and straights. Good pavement. We were a day early for "Bomb the Zoo," at which the City of Portland baracades off about three miles of city street including the road passing through the zoo itself. Just for bicycles and longboarders, one Sunday a month. Big disappointment there, but many vows to return someday.
On the way back home, the boys were happy and sleepy. We dropped the last one off at his house and pulled into the driveway.
I went to unload Ross' backpack and miscellany out of the Tahoe.
"What's this? Who does this red backpack belong to?"
Ross looked down at his shoes, and John quickly went into the house.
"It's the bungee." Ross said quietly, "We bought it together. Dad loaned us the money for it."
I suppose we all spoil kids differently. I thought they would look cool in matching t-shirts while they skate around Skyline. With the addition of the bungee, at least the ER docs will know they're together, and that should make it easier to round up parents to sign consent forms.
