Jack told me he couldn't sleep at night because he was worried someone would break in and that he kept a baseball bat at every door and window. He said he had to get out of there before someone got hurt. "I don't want to hurt anyone," he said, "But you can see I'm a big guy and I'll defend myself if I have to." Yes, he is a very big guy. I thought of Lou Ferrigno as the Hulk in late middle age.
I took his application and faxed it to Orca Information for screening. With three vacancies in our complex, I was hoping he'd be clear, but his appearance made me a little doubtful.
The next day, Lisa came into the office. She's probably in her late forties and also presents with a deficit of some kind. About 5'2" dark haired, blue-eyed, stoop-shouldered and a bit heavy. Lisa looks like an aging child with a constant what-me-worry smile. She had her mother, named Leona, with her. Leona explained that Lisa had been living in Cascade West and had problems with some of the other residents and she was concerned for her safety there. I assured Leona that we ran a pretty tight ship and we'd be happy to show her around.
Leona explained that Lisa's rent was guaranteed and that she kept in close contact with Lisa. That always sounds good to me, so I gave them an application (everybody gets screened) and asked them to check back in a couple hours. Leona asked me if Jack had been approved. Jack? Yes, Lisa's friend Jack had also applied, and although Jack is not a relative, she kinda looks after him, too. Jack and Lisa met in a group home ten years ago and they've been friends ever since. Not boyfriend and girlfriend, just friends, but they keep each other company. They tried sharing an apartment once but that didn't work, so they each need their own place.
Well. Leona saw me looking a little doubtful and said, "You're worried about Jack. He's ok. The problem at Cascade West is he's on the third floor and stairs make him nervous. He doesn't like walking up that high. And some of the neighbors taunt him. There was an attempted break in a few months ago and he doesn't know who it was, so he's afraid of everyone there. It's a bad place for him and Lisa, so we're looking around for something better. He and Lisa both have financial aid and you don't have to worry about the rent."
Orca Information said they were ok, so I approved them and they got to move in the next weekend. Two out of three vacancies filled quickly. That felt good.
Neither of them drive. They take the bus or Leona drives them. I see them walk by the office quite often, and sometimes they stop in and talk to me. Of course, I cannot diagnose them, but I can sure tell when medication is adjusted. There are days when one or the other of them cannot shut up. It's happy banter, though, not about any topic in particular. It just takes up time, and I have to shoo them off after awhile so I can work.
Not long ago, Jack came into the office with a miniature poodle. DSHS gave him the dog for "therapy." He has "someone" to care for and keep him from feeling lonely and frightened at night. He paid the pet deposit as agreed, and we talked about the goofy things pets do to entertain us. I mentioned America's Funniest Home Videos. Jack said, "It's funny you should mention that show because I've been on it. But you probably didn't recognize me because I was a horse that day." He went on to describe a scene in which a horse did some clever math with his hoof.
I raised my eyebrows.
"You probably don't believe me but I've been turned into a horse lots of times. I had a girlfriend when I lived at Cascade West who got really mad at me when I broke up with her. She learned how to cast spells and for about three years there I'd turn into a horse for a few hours at a time. The Catholic Church finally found out about her and took her book of spells away. But let me tell you, it's pretty scary when you don't know when it's going to happen. Once I lost my job and got arrested all in the same day." He paused, and looked carefully at my face to see if I was paying attention.
I was.
"I was driving a delivery truck with another guy on the passenger side. We were on the freeway to go drop off some packages. I felt the spell coming on and I said to the guy, "You'd better take the wheel while I figure out how to get to the side of the road. And the guy wouldn't listen, so I had to practically scream at him that I was about to turn into a horse and I wouldn't have any hands. He finally took the wheel and scooted over as I crawled into the back of the van. We must have been driving erratically, because the police pulled the van over and that's when I got arrested."
"You got arrested for driving erratically?" I asked.
"No, it wasn't for that," he explained. "When they looked into the back of the van they found me, and you know what horses wear."
Not everyone needs a driver's license. Not everyone should have a driver's license.
The SKAT buses are good-sized and can accommodate people of all sizes and shapes. Even the occasional horse.
What if Jack's poodle turned into a horse?
